Continue Your Gene Pool

One of the “Things to do before you die” says to continue your gene pool, aka have a kid. I feel bad for those who are unable to check this one off the list (I wonder if adoption counts in that case?)

Well either way, I did have a kid and I am scheduling this post to go on her birthday with a hope that it will go at the time of her birth.

I had just started living as a man part time when I became pregnant. Talk about awkward. This was before the Thomas Beatty pregnant man thing where he claimed to be the first pregnant man. I know a bunch of people who were legally male who had babies, but I digress.

The pregnancy itself was not so bad except for the morning sickness for a few weeks. 4 times a day for a while, not fun. I could not drink water (had to boil the hell out of it or freeze it) or much of anything really. I could eat (and did eat) a lot of Snicker bars. No terribly weird cravings other than wanting to go to Red Lobster for flounder, then McDonalds for fries, then Wendy’s for a frostie for one meal.

I ended up not having medical care thoughout most of the pregnancy due to constantly being made fun of by the medical establishment and the true trauma of being a man having to go to the obgyn and being harassed by medical students and attendings but that is a whole ‘nother discussion. Ended up with a midwife who was no better who called 911 on me just so she could try to dismiss me from her care because I went past my due date.

Any way, so I was in summer school because no baby in my family line has the ability to be on time. I went into labour around 1 pm May 25, took a bath and calmly continued to do statistics homework for the next 6 hours wrapped in a towel. Contractions were not painful but they were annoying. My grandmother was there and we were watching television. At 7 pm or so, my partner wakes up and was getting ready to go to work (he worked nights) and I was like “Where are you going?” and he says to work. I was like “Um… I thought you were going to be with me when your daughter is born?” and held up the card showing contractions at about 7 min apart consistently.

So we called the midwife who did not come until 10:30 pm which by this time it was too late to do a water birth which is what I wanted. Labour seriously wasn’t that bad and I really don’t understand why everyone says it hurts. The painful thing was the midwife stabbed me with her long nail into a tear when I was delivering the shoulders. That was 2 seconds of pain.

At 2:10 am on Memorial Day after about 13 hours of labour, and literally minutes after Queer as Folk ended (which I had been wanting to watch) my daughter was born. 6 lbs, 14 oz, 21 inches.

Delivering the placenta was more uncomfortable.

Going back to school two days later because my undergraduate school said I was going to lose aid if I extended a semester sucked. I was in pain and eating Tylenol like it was candy and it really hurt when I had to go to the bathroom (REALLY).

There was so much more drama after the birth than I wanted to deal with. Lots of harassment from the midwife. HaShem struck her out on Yom Kippur about 10 years later. I do feel at least some closure.

I would have kids again, I would even do a home birth again, but I want a better midwife. Unfortunately I think most of my doctors would object to a home birth with the epilepsy now even though I apparently had had complex seizures though the pregnancy which went undetected. I’m easy. All I ask is for promethazine or related for first trimester. Some type of sleep aid for third. Painkillers a few days after the birth and no IV locks and let me move around.

Did anyone else do a home birth and would you do it again?

Completed: 2003

Categories: Life Management | Tags: , ,

Post navigation

Comments are closed.

Blog at

%d bloggers like this: