I suppose this is a confess and get revenge thing which allows me to knock off two of the “Things to Do” although some people in fact know and in fact it was encouraged by some of my rabbis (three different movements!)
I took in some people who lost their home in March 2013. Them and their three kids. Not the best situation but they were friends. Unfortunately they brought quite a bit of legal trouble with them because one’s mother was a sociopath. Unfortunately that spilled over.
Despite the fact I warned them not to give out my address to DFCS (the sociopath was sending out false complaints which meant DFCS has to investigate), my address was released. This started a court case which involved surprise visits by DCFS, lawyers, cops. We also had trespassers and PIs following us and scoping out the house. I at one point ended up assaulted and was without the use of my right arm.
In lieu of rent which I knew they could not pay (and originally I was not going to charge them since they were only supposed to stay for a week), they were supposed to just do a few things around the house like oh mow the grass, take out their own trash, and since one is very handy help finish the bathroom that they were using (I was giving all the supplies). Instead, I did their utilities, rent, storage, took their kid to school and the doctor, arranged a job for one of them, fed them, etc. Nothing was done and with my arm I couldn’t do much myself. And they just would not leave. One of them actually lied to me about what was going on.
Their presence was getting me in more trouble and was risking my health. According to the Orthodox rabbi I spoke to, I was under no obligation to provide assistance as they were no longer Torah observant. The Reform rabbi said I was taking on too much and was jeopardizing my health. Conservative rabbi said the same thing and demanded for my health I kick them out. But I couldn’t throw kids out.
Roommate’s mother pulled some lying crap about my house and attempted to get me foreclosed on giving me two weeks to move out. G-d forbid roommates helped with anything. Instead one just smirked and continued to lie about many things regarding their case, my involvement, my obligation, and when they were going to be out and gave the people who were supposed to be helping me grief.
So I tried contacting their lawyer to put pressure on them to get out like the court said. Couldn’t get a hold of their lawyers, but I emailed the kid’s lawyer who none of us trusted, but she cleared up the lies that the other was spreading. She was already about to do a pop inspection the next day (the only difference is now I knew the time as opposed to it being a real pop inspection) and I said by all means come on down. It’s sad but I actually warned one of the roommates about 15 minutes before the inspection and she said I was crazy and there was not going to be an inspection. OK… fine. Enjoy the butcher knife where the 4 year old can reach it.
I really feel bad about contacting the kid’s lawyer but really what choice did I have at the time? At least I was able to control part of the inspection and got a confirmed date and time. If I recall, I almost cried at my rabbi meeting when I told him what I did (he was very understanding). However, they did in the end lose their kids to the lunatic and I am going to have to live with part of that guilt for a while even if the guilt is not completely deserved.
What would you have done in my situation?