Posts Tagged With: lifecycle

Get Married Unusually

Of course everyone or at least most people assume they going to be married some day. Some might want an unusual wedding which is what the Thing to Do is supposed to be.

18 years today was my wedding. I should not say it was a wedding as we eloped.

No one really knew we were dating in my family except for my grandmother. My mother and father had threatened to have my fiance (at the time) arrested several months before.

When my grandmother distracted my mother by taking her to Georgia for a week, Partner and I got our marriage license and were married in the Ft Lauderdale Courthouse with my best friend and his best friend as witnesses. The whole thing took 5 minutes. We then hid our marriage for 3 years which I suppose is definitely unusual.

If I had it to do over again, I would have had a Jewish-style wedding even though neither of us were Jewish. Or a medieval wedding. Or some type of theme. We at least won for cheapest wedding ever… 88.50 for the marriage license and 20 for the notary to sign the form. Then we went to Disney World for a weekend where in the middle of the night the fire alarm went off, hell of a way to spend a wedding night.

If you could have a theme for your wedding what would it be?

Completed : 1999

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Categories: Relationships | Tags: , ,

Continue Your Gene Pool

One of the “Things to do before you die” says to continue your gene pool, aka have a kid. I feel bad for those who are unable to check this one off the list (I wonder if adoption counts in that case?)

Well either way, I did have a kid and I am scheduling this post to go on her birthday with a hope that it will go at the time of her birth.

I had just started living as a man part time when I became pregnant. Talk about awkward. This was before the Thomas Beatty pregnant man thing where he claimed to be the first pregnant man. I know a bunch of people who were legally male who had babies, but I digress.

The pregnancy itself was not so bad except for the morning sickness for a few weeks. 4 times a day for a while, not fun. I could not drink water (had to boil the hell out of it or freeze it) or much of anything really. I could eat (and did eat) a lot of Snicker bars. No terribly weird cravings other than wanting to go to Red Lobster for flounder, then McDonalds for fries, then Wendy’s for a frostie for one meal.

I ended up not having medical care thoughout most of the pregnancy due to constantly being made fun of by the medical establishment and the true trauma of being a man having to go to the obgyn and being harassed by medical students and attendings but that is a whole ‘nother discussion. Ended up with a midwife who was no better who called 911 on me just so she could try to dismiss me from her care because I went past my due date.

Any way, so I was in summer school because no baby in my family line has the ability to be on time. I went into labour around 1 pm May 25, took a bath and calmly continued to do statistics homework for the next 6 hours wrapped in a towel. Contractions were not painful but they were annoying. My grandmother was there and we were watching television. At 7 pm or so, my partner wakes up and was getting ready to go to work (he worked nights) and I was like “Where are you going?” and he says to work. I was like “Um… I thought you were going to be with me when your daughter is born?” and held up the card showing contractions at about 7 min apart consistently.

So we called the midwife who did not come until 10:30 pm which by this time it was too late to do a water birth which is what I wanted. Labour seriously wasn’t that bad and I really don’t understand why everyone says it hurts. The painful thing was the midwife stabbed me with her long nail into a tear when I was delivering the shoulders. That was 2 seconds of pain.

At 2:10 am on Memorial Day after about 13 hours of labour, and literally minutes after Queer as Folk ended (which I had been wanting to watch) my daughter was born. 6 lbs, 14 oz, 21 inches.

Delivering the placenta was more uncomfortable.

Going back to school two days later because my undergraduate school said I was going to lose aid if I extended a semester sucked. I was in pain and eating Tylenol like it was candy and it really hurt when I had to go to the bathroom (REALLY).

There was so much more drama after the birth than I wanted to deal with. Lots of harassment from the midwife. HaShem struck her out on Yom Kippur about 10 years later. I do feel at least some closure.

I would have kids again, I would even do a home birth again, but I want a better midwife. Unfortunately I think most of my doctors would object to a home birth with the epilepsy now even though I apparently had had complex seizures though the pregnancy which went undetected. I’m easy. All I ask is for promethazine or related for first trimester. Some type of sleep aid for third. Painkillers a few days after the birth and no IV locks and let me move around.

Did anyone else do a home birth and would you do it again?

Completed: 2003

Categories: Life Management | Tags: , ,

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